Will I be laid off next week?
Shake the 8-Ball! All signs point to YES.
I can list all the reasons that I think the ax will soon fall on my swan-like neck, but the evidence will sound trivial to those not immersed in the rhythm of my workaday world. But trust me…change is in the air.
Our Board of Directors meets early next week, and I am expecting to begin my glorious period of unemployment before the upcoming Memorial Day weekend…just in time for summer weather. I’m trying not to get too excited, but I feel like a kid rounding the corner on summer vacation.
I wrote the draft above back in mid-May, but neglected to post it. I was convinced, at the time, that my job was in jeopardy and because my professional career has always waltzed to the one-step-forward-two-steps-back rhythm, I figured it was time for the penny jar to flip.
But I’m still here — trapped in my windowless office, listing to my radio spit NPR static, tapping on my keyboard…. I am indeed gainfully employed.
Most people in this economy would give praise to Jayzus H. Christ for saving their jobs – but honey, this girl ain’t wired that way. Following the above-mentioned Board of Directors meeting, the days passed in humdrum monotony and it became increasingly clear that the hatchet man wouldn’t be dropping in for a visit.
My disappointment was almost tangible.
So here I sit. Earning money. Dreaming of weekends and vacations and retirement and ultimate freedom. My bank account continues to be replenished and my 401(k) expands in its own herky-jerky way. I grow wrinkles and gray hair and saddlebags.
PTL! I’ve gotta job!